What It Means To Be A Boy And What It Means To Be A Man
by AMKelley
Summary: There's a distinct difference in the way John treats his youngest boys and it definitely shows the most when they're in the throes of passion. He makes love to Adam like he's a pristine virgin, while he fucks Sam like a man. *PWP, sexual content, underage, rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral sex, dirty talk, daddy kink, dom/sub undertones, hair pulling*


John loves his boys.

Maybe he doesn't always show it, or say it much for that matter, but John truly does love them all as stubborn as he can be at times. John might even go so far as to say he loves his boys a little _too_ much, in ways that are deemed inappropriate by society. But John supposes he can't really hold off the inevitable, seeing as how Sam was like Mary in so many ways and Adam had resembled both Sam and Dean.

It started off innocent enough with the traditional and natural love a father should have for his children unconditionally, but somewhere along the line it had progressed into something not quite as ethical as either. John could say it was just a one time thing that happened by accident, a mistake, but that would be a lie. It all started because of Sam and his penchant for willfully rebelling against his father.

There was a certain fire in Sam's attitude that reminded John of Mary whenever they got into a heated argument. Much like Mary, Sam was very opinionated and never hesitated to express his doubt with the dubious choices John makes on a daily basis. He tested John's patience on multiple occasions and defied him in such a way that Dean never could.

Perhaps, John thinks now, that is why he never drug Dean into this sordid affair. Dean was older and more obedient to the point where he didn't need shaping. Dean was, by all rights, John's golden boy. He was the first born that always had to prove himself and earn the affection of his father and, as such, Dean remained untarnished by John's alternative methods of parenting.

But Sam on the other hand was a different story entirely. Sam wasn't so quick to please just because it was expected of him. Sam was his own man with his own opinions and priorities. He was fickle and hard to control, but all of that changed one night. Sam was still relatively young the first time it happened, roughly around sixteen, and it continued until the day he left for college. After that, John felt lost.

That is, until, he decided to pop back into Adam's life for the time being. John was aware of the fact that Adam was a substitute for Sam all along, and while he loved Adam as much as Dean and Sam, it felt oddly disingenuine on his part. Adam wasn't around when the shit hit the fan and John realized he would never have the same connection with Adam like he does with his other boys and for good reasons.

Adam wasn't a Winchester, not in the strictest sense, but there was an aspect about that, that appealed to John on a deeper level. Adam was like a breath of fresh air in autumn, while Sam was the product of artificial medicine expelled from an inhaler that gave you an extra breath to keep on going for a little while longer. Adam was pure and untainted by the obligatory life of a traditional Winchester man.

It sounds shitty now, John realizes, but he can't lie to himself and sugar coat it. It didn't necessarily mean he favored Adam over Sam, because it doesn't. John will always pick Sam every time even though he knows the risk of doing so. Knowing what Sam is meant to be and what he was born to do. Maybe that's why he was two different kinds father when it came to catering to the emotional needs of Adam and Sam. He was also a different kind of lover with both of them as well.

John _makes love_ to Adam.

John's first time with Adam happened three years after Sam went to college when Adam was fifteen and it continued to happen two years later until Adam was seventeen and Sam came back into the family business. They had been alone in John's room watching tv when Adam gave John _that look_. John couldn't explain _the look_ but the next thing he knew he was making a move on his youngest son who was barely a freshman in high school.

It wasn't John's finest hour and he wasn't proud of taking advantage of someone as pure as Adam especially at such a young age, but old habits died hard.

He takes his youngest offspring so slow and gentle like he's some sort of pristine little virgin spawned from the heavens, even though he is far from being one of those anymore. They've done it plenty of times to disprove that notion, but John loves to reminisce on their first time together when Adam was still wide eyed and frightened by the idea of his own father screwing him.

John stripped Adam down slowly until he was bared for all the world to see, taking his time as not to startle the kid. He laid Adam down against the bed of the crummy motel room he was staying at for the weekend and settled his mature body over the boy. Adam kept his arms at his sides and shrunk substantially when John lowered himself against him.

John set out to cherish every inch of Adam's developing body with light fleeting kisses that left a rash down the length of Adam's torso where John's stubble had scratched against his skin. John loved it whenever Adam shivered with anticipation at the brief contact, resulting in him rubbing his face across Adam's stomach each time he flinched away just to hear him whimper.

John kissed and nipped at Adam's hipbones, raking his teeth sensually across smooth skin as he ran his hands all over the blonde's supple frame. His body felt much different from Sam's, which was okay John supposed, but it was still pleasant to caress. He wasn't even close to being built like Sam or even Dean, but John could feel the potential muscles beginning to protrude underneath that perfect flushed skin.

If Adam had been bred into the same lifestyle as Sam and Dean, surely he would be ripped by now. Dean would've seen to that. But John prefers Adam this way, all slender and warm without a single scar ruining his physique. John kissed just below Adam's belly button, humming as he marveled at how perfect Adam truly was. He pulled away, raising up on the palms of his hands to look down at his youngest.

"You perfect, beautiful boy. _My_ boy," John praised, admiring the pretty little blush that started to creep across Adam's face. He leans down next to Adam's ear, murmuring, "Angel..."

Adam straight up whined when John's gruff voice dripped into his ear and shuddered as his hot breath seeped into his neck. Adam turns his face away from John and the older man takes this as an invitation to kiss the outstretched skin just begging to be gnawed on, but John refrains from doing such a thing. At least for now. Adam's breath hitches every time John presses a wet kiss against his neck, facial hair scratching Adam softly.

John consciously pressed his hips into Adam's shamelessly rubbing his still clothed erection against Adam's bare, slowly hardening, one. Adam was still feeble and confused by the whole situation, but hearing John whisper such sweet things into his ear and feeling his stubble scrap his sensitive skin made him mewl with want. So he let John do whatever he wanted to him and kept his mouth shut, something that John wasn't used to.

If it were Sam he'd be struggling and cursing John's name until his voice went hoarse, but Adam was pliant and docile, scared and naive. It's not what you think. It's not as if John forces himself onto his sons whether they like it or not, he could never live with himself otherwise. No, these lewd affairs are much more complicated than that.

Suddenly, after John has thoroughly kissed Adam's neck, Adam moves to snake a hand up to grasp at John's bicep, squeezing tenderly as if he's silently begging. John leaned back to gaze into Adam's bright eyes, finding solace in those everlasting blues that whimper for something more. Adam's too afraid to ask for it with words, but John knows that look. Sammy gave him that exact same one their first time as well.

He knew what Adam wanted, it's what John _needed_, and John was more than prepared to take it without a moment's hesitation. John leaned over towards the nightstand and snatched up the small bottle he left out for just this occasion. Adam knew what it was and he knew what was going to happen to him in that moment, if he hadn't already before. John snapped the cap open, drizzling the liquid copiously onto his fingers.

The sight made Adam shudder bodily, John recalls, which caused the older man to react accordingly when he noticed his boy became further interested in the notion. John smirked at Adam's flushed and leaking cock before he leaned down to kiss Adam on the lips for the first time, whilst dropping his wet hand to one of _the_ most sacred places on Adam's pristine body.

It took Adam a moment to reciprocate the initial kiss, but John eased him through it with patience until Adam's jaw slackened and accepted his fate. John opened his mouth and experimentally ran his tongue alongside Adam's, earning a soft moan from the kid. While John busied Adam with deep kisses he opt to proceed and pressed the tip of one lubricated finger against Adam's entrance, applying just enough pressure.

Adam gasped and tensed up on instinct, breaking the kiss to stare up at his father with wide eyes that shimmered with aroused confusion. John would've found this annoying any other time, but the way Adam squirmed and writhed was insatiable. Adam was willfully trying to squirm away from John's finger, only to be stopped when John pressed firmly down on his abdomen to still Adam's movements.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," John whispered, kissing Adam chastely on the cheek and nuzzling his jaw. "I'm not going to hurt you, angel. I wouldn't dream of it."

And with that, John slowly breached Adam's body with his lubricated finger, gauging the boy's reaction as his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Adam's jaw dropped in a silent gasp and froze just like that for a brief moment. When John pulled his finger out and reinserted it Adam gasped for real and his eyebrows furrowed together in a helpless expression.

Adam's legs fell apart, bent at the knees, and surrendered to the intrusion to let his father open him up. It felt weird, not unpleasantly so, but it could take some getting used to. John continued to work his finger inside of Adam, murmuring sweet words of encouragement as he built him up towards taking more fingers.

John added a second one right alongside the first to stretch Adam further and he twisted and thrusted his fingers into Adam until he was loose enough to take three. Once John worked three of his fingers inside his youngest, Adam was practically whining and writhing against the mattress. His cock was painfully hard, feeling as if he could explode at any moment, and Adam unconsciously humped himself down onto John's hand.

When John was satisfied enough he withdrew his fingers carefully, getting him a low groan of disappointment from Adam when he did so. He gave Adam a reassuring peck on the lips before rolling off the bed to dispose of his boxers. Adam lolled his head over towards John to watch him with glassy eyes and bit his lip at the sight of his father's flushed cock.

Adam practically moaned at the sight of his rugged and well-endowed father, suddenly keening for contact he was previously too scared to ask for. He was still scared to ask for it, knowing what that implied about his own morals, but luckily Adam never had to say a word during these passionate interludes. John crawled the bed and settled himself between Adam's spread thighs.

John showers Adam in kisses and soft little caresses laced with sweet nothings as he coats his cock in lubricant in preparation. Adam was robbed of his breath when John finally starts to push in, taking his time to let Adam adjust to his girth. Adam cried out in pain, in fact he always did even well after he was broken in properly, but he held onto John's shoulders tightly.

Adam dug his chewed up nails into John's shoulder blades, hurting John in the process, but it was something the older man didn't mind taking. He slipped all the way inside of Adam's virgin channel, absolving the meaning of that word completely, before pulling out entirely just to push back in. Adam whimpered in blissful agony, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he forced himself to relax and accept his father.

And, just as Adam would expect of John, the older man takes him gently, being mindful that it's Adam's first time. John slowly made love to his youngest son like it's the most natural thing in the world, bombarding Adam with kisses and endearments of _angel, sweetheart,_ and _baby_. Adam was always too choked up to reply, but it never seemed to matter. John knew everything Adam could possibly say anyway.

John dropped down onto his elbows so he could hold Adam and kiss him as he slowly thrusted in and out in an undulating rotation of his hips. Adam's cheeks were damp with tears from a mixture of pain and relief, but he hardly ever noticed since John always wiped them away. John would continue to gauge and react to everything Adam did during intercourse and respond to it accordingly, worrying over him like a mother hen and making sure Adam was in good hands constantly.

Sometimes afterward Adam would occasionally ask why John never fucked him hard. Adam was frequently disheartened by this knowledge that John didn't think he could handle it, but he supposed that was alright. The question continued to be asked years after their initial coupling and John always gave the same excuse. _You're just a boy_, John would say and Adam wouldn't press the subject any further. And that was that.

Sam was never so lucky in that department, however, though he never really complained. Sam knew his role when it came to being with his father and he didn't have a problem with it at all. At least not in the bedroom. When John thinks about the countless times he's slept with Sam in the past, he always keeps coming back to their last time together. Sure, it's one of his more depressing memories but it's definitely their most passionate night together considering the fact Sam made it apparent that he'd be going away to college the next week.

They were in their crummy motel room and the tension between John, Sam, and Dean could be cut with a knife. Sam had managed to pick a fight with John, arguing to the point where Dean finally got fed up and stormed out of the room to take a long drive in the impala. This, of course, had been a ploy on Sam's part all along just so he could get John alone. He was all too much like John in certain ways.

John had feigned his disinterest in the notion at first, simply because he was still brooding over Sam wanting to leave and abandon their family, but Sam knew the right buttons to press. It was no surprise that Sam was sin itself and for good reasons. John was aware of _what_ Sam really was and it only pushed John into finishing what he had started between them years ago.

John _fucks_ Sam.

Whenever sex was involved, John would always make it his mission to establish their respective roles by dominating Sam into submission. This usually included throwing Sam down against the bed, up against the wall, or across a table. This certain occasion Sam found himself being shoved face first into a table. Sure, they had a reasonably comfortable bed but this wasn't about comfort, unlike Adam's case.

This was about John having the final word, about being able to control Sam to satisfy his means, not about making sweet passionate love. That wasn't in the cards for either of them whenever they were together. Maybe it made John out to be a scumbag, but the truth of the matter was is that Sam actually preferred it this way. Sam liked things rough, hard, and fast. The only thing Sam loved more than being in control of his life is being out of control and his father was the only one who knew _exactly_ how to achieve this.

Sometimes John wondered if Sam was willfully rebellious simply because of the results it showed whenever he taught Sam a _lesson_ and not because he truly felt that way. Either way, John is more than happy to oblige and Sam is being thrown down across the tabletop cluttered with fast food wrappers and miscellaneous books harshly. The wind was knocked out of Sam as he collided with the wooden surface, panting from exertion that he couldn't begin to explain.

Sam's pants are promptly undone and yanked down afterwards, pooled around his ankles as to constrict him. John doesn't even bother to rid Sam of his shirts, figuring it would just be too much preamble to do so. He loved watching the expanse of Sam's back undulating in a steady, yet strained, rhythm, but fucking Sam good and hard had been his top priority at the time.

John even had lube in his duffle bag for this occasion, but it was ultimately forgotten when he caught sight of Sam's hole exposed and presented to him. If it was going to be the last time, John figured he would make it memorable for days to come and the evidence would be relevant in Sam's stuttering gait after John was through with him.

John sucked on three of his fingers to wet them liberally with saliva and bent down to spit at Sam's hole. This action always made Sam moan wantonly, making John's cock twitch with interest. Without warning, John stuffed all three of his fingers inside of Sam to elicit a feral howl of pain tinged with pleasure from his second born. It was a tight fit even when Sam relaxed his muscles and the friction was dry at best, but neither of them would have it any other way.

"You're daddy's good little whore aren't you, Sammy?" John praised with a rhetorical inflection. This caused Sam to keen low in his throat and wiggle his backside enthusiastically. "Look at you taking my fingers so well without lube. Does it hurt?"

"Yes, sir, it does," Sam whined, burying his face into his forearm and biting his wrist to stifle his groans.

"Good, because you've been an exceptional little brat lately, Sammy."

This comment is stapled by a harsh slap to Sam's ass that made the young man jump in surprise. Sam let out a deep and drawn out moan from the sting it left behind, inching back as if to ask for more. John delivered with another firm _smack!_ that left Sam reeling mind-numbing arousal. John twisted his fingers inside of Sam as he ran his other hand all over the rounded curve of Sam's ass.

The burn inside Sam matches the burn against the exposed flesh of his rear end as John continued to spank Sam into the hard surface of the table and finger him shallowly. John always loved the strangled little noises Sam made and this time was no different for him. It was apparent that John was being rough and possibly hurting Sam, but it only made Sam more hot and bothered. Especially as John stretched the tense ring of muscle leading into Sam's body.

"I think you're ready for daddy's cock, Sammy," John proclaimed with a breathless smirk.

"I'm not a kid, so quit calling me _Sammy_," Sam complained before getting cut off by another slap to his flushed and rosy ass.

"Of course not," John mocked with exaggeration, pulling his fingers out of Sam. He leans down over Sam's body to murmur harshly in his ear. "You're all big and grown up now, making decisions on your own like a real adult. Since you're not a boy anymore, I'm going to fuck you like a man."

Sam shivered with anticipation at the intent those words held and he bit his lip as he waited for John to undo his pants. Sam was breathing shallowly, training his ears to the sound of John unzipping his jeans and the rustle of him pulling out his undoubtedly hard cock. Sam was ready for his dad's cock and even braced himself for it but it never came.

"But first, why don't you be daddy's good little slut and get down on your knees for me," John suggested- no, _ordered_.

Sam complied immediately and dropped to the floor in front of John as he stroked himself languidly. Sam reached out to grasp John's cock but the older man slapped his hand away and helped to guide the head towards Sam's mouth. John tangles a hand in Sam's hair and yanks his head forward to pull his son down the length of his cock in one go.

The choke that followed was absolutely _glorious_. Sam wanted to bring his hands up and push against John's thighs but he refrained from it. He kept his arms at his sides and let John fuck the back of his throat with his hands twisting in his hair. Sam moaned wantonly around his father's length, slobbering profusely and tearing up from the abuse his gag reflex was taking. He looked up at John who was already watching him intently. John fucks Sam's throat until he's sure it's going numb.

John was pulling on Sam's hair roughly as he dragged the wet, sloppy mouth up and down his cock in steady rhythm. Sam sucked as if this was all he needed and just when he started to adjust and get into it, it ended all too quickly. John pulled Sam off of his saliva coated cock, still firmly yanking of Sam's hair to make him whine and cough when he breathes in his own spit.

John dragged Sam back up on his feet and pushed him face first into the table once again, stroking his wet cock to spread the saliva around. It was going to be a rough and tight fit, but it was going to be amazing in the end. John placed the head of his cock at Sam's entrance and pressed forward as he slipped in shallowly and jaggedly, eliciting a pained growl of completion from Sam. _Fuck, Sam was always so tight._

John rocked his hips into Sam instantly and he started to fuck his son in long, hard thrusts, hoping it would fuck away all the potential brimming up inside of the spawn from hell. That thought always seemed to make John thrust twice as hard, though Sam was never aware of this. Sam simply thought it was just pent up anger. Either way, he'd be right since the anger ultimately stemmed from the knowledge of Sam's _destiny_.

Sam moaned and shook and screamed as John took out his anger on Sam's body, fucking him like the man he is. The table shook and creaked with the stress of Sam's weigh moving in a repeated and rough rhythm. Sam's hole ached and quivered as John screwed him within an inch of his life, making Sam scratch the surface of the aged wood with his nails.

John pulled on Sam's sweat damp hair and yanked on the follicles as he took his son savagely like an animal. He wasn't a sweet little virgin basking in the light of the heavens. Sam was sin bathing in hellfire and John wouldn't have it any other way. And so, Sam accepted his punishment like a man like he always had before.

But unlike Adam, Sam never questioned why John never made love to him. Sam didn't want gentle and sweet and maybe that weighed a little on John's conscience. Sometimes John was inclined to be slow with Sam but it never happened. It wasn't in the cards for Sam and John didn't know if he could ever stomach what Sam would become. So, he settles for the vicious circle he's found himself in and accepts all of their respective roles. As far as John is concerned he isn't even sure what's right and wrong anymore, all he knew is that he was going to hell.

And he was taking his sons with him.


End file.
